“Sam, kids, Jesus is coming to our house. Can you believe it? Hurry, we have so much to do. The house is a mess. We are a mess!” I’m so excited, but a little anxious at the same time.
“Maddie, clean your room. Jake, I told you a million times to put your dirty soccer socks in the washing machine.” My anxiety level rises.
“What in the world will we eat? Of course, we have nothing but cereal and leftover pizza. Maybe I can whip something up.” My heart is beating faster. I’m starting to panic a bit.
“Sam, we should have done that yard work last weekend. It is a disaster.” Now I’m just mad.
“Why are there two thousand pairs of shoes blocking the front door?” Really, I think!
“Maddie, why haven’t you cleaned the bathroom… and your room is full of clothes. Too late to clean now…just shove it all in your closet…if you can find room in there.” My tone is full of bitterness and sarcasm.
“Jake, are you going to wear that? When was the last time you brushed your hair?” I am yelling now.
“Oh my gosh, he is heeeeeere! But we aren’t ready. Quick, get the door and distract him while I try to finish up. Someone help me in the kitchen. We can at least make some coffee.” I’m freaking out. I don’t even go to the door as I scan the room examining all that is left undone.
Jesus enters the house. I can’t believe He is here. Will He notice those leak stains on our ceiling? Look at all the people who came with Him…it is going to be so crowded in here. I’m sure they are staring at the dust bunnies in every corner. I hope they don’t have to go to the bathroom…you know how it tends to clog. I better make another pot of coffee. Why isn’t anyone helping me? They are just sitting there enjoying His company while I am doing all the work.
Twenty minutes go by, and I realize I haven’t heard a word of what He has said. I’m antsy. So much undone. My mind wanders, pondering my self-declared deficiencies as a hostess.
“Anyone need anything? Coffee refill? Can I take your coat?”
No one even notices me. They are enthralled by Jesus. I wonder what He is even talking about. I try to focus; to clear my mind and just listen.
That lasts about 2.5 seconds. My mind goes to the trash bag left at the back door. If I sneak out quickly, I can remove it before anyone notices.
An hour passes, and I am back in the room. What have I missed? They are all listening and even laughing together. They are filled with joy and peace while I am a mess. This isn’t right. I’M THE ONE WHO INVITED HIM. I should be the one filled with joy and peace.
“Here, let me take that for you. I’ve got some fresh bread that is almost ready. Can I get you another cup of coffee?”
I gather all of the ceramic plates and mugs and wearily carry them to the sink.
Two hours pass and I realize I have not heard much of all. I’ve been eagerly waiting to meet with Jesus, and I missed it all. My heart breaks. And now He is getting up to leave. What is wrong with me?
I hurry to the door to gather belongings and say goodbye to everyone as they leave. I lean against the doorframe. Tired. Angry. Frustrated. Unfulfilled.
Jesus walks up to me and stops for what feels like an hour. He gazes deep into my eyes and says, “you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary.” It isn’t judgmental or cruel; quite the contrary…it is compassionate and calm. The opposite of my countenance. His eyes shift to His companions, and He walks away.
Sam and the kids are all abuzz with excitement and renewed energy. I can’t describe it. They are on fire. They can’t stop talking about all that Jesus said. They are so happy. They are so full. Once again, I’ve let my busyness and my pride keep me from the most important thing. I love Jesus, and I missed out on an intimate encounter with Him. And it is all my fault.
“You are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary.” His words cycle on repeat in my mind.
Yes, I did everything but the ONE THING that was necessary; the one thing that needed to be done. To sit at the feet of my Savior and just be present; just listen; just soak in His glory. Never again, I vow.
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